An eye opener

As Salaamu Alaikum

By SALEH ALI

Life is unpredictable. But I always thought I could predict what was going to happen next. It was only six days ago. I was driving home with my friends, Malik and Omar. It was Halloween night. We had just watched the movie Saw 3 at the recently refurbished theater at the 3rd Street Promenade in Santo Monica, CA. It was 11:46pm when I glanced at the clock on the dashboard and realized I hadn't made Isha But I didn't say anything, as not to upset the mood. Just three hours earlier I put off the Isha until after the movie. Now I was running out of time.

I only lived 26 years. My 27th birthday was exactly two weeks away. I always imagined I would live long. At least until age 60. It just wasn't imaginable that I would have such a sudden, unexpected death. I had graduated from the University of Southern California three years earlier with a degree that means absolutely nothing right now. Shortly after, I landed a job as the marketing director of a major clothing company. Aside from the usual life problems, I was living a normal life. My girlfriend of 4 years was starting to pressure me into us getting a place together. I knew I wasn't supposed to have a girlfriend in the first place but I enjoyed her company and friendship. I wasn't ready to give that up. I used to always tell myself that eventually I would marry her. Plus, what would these few years of living a sinful life mean by the time I got older?

My job, girlfriend and life-long friends took up the majority of my time. It seemed I never had time to offer salah. I hardly even had time to sit down and eat. Offering salah was always something that continuously bugged me. The more I postponed my salahs, the more it irritated me. I did give an effort to keep up on my salahs. But for the last two years of my life I gave up. I pretty much stopped making salah altogether. I never made it home in time to make salah that
day. Saw 3 was a walk through the rose garden compared to what I was about to experience. I was doing 85 on the 10 freeway. At 12 midnight, 85 mph is not considered speeding. Omar flipped through FM radio stations searching for a song he liked. Malik had fallen asleep in the back seat. I began to doze off too.

I used to hate when that happened. I shook out of what seemed like a 10 second snooze. I tried to keep my eyes open. But again I dozed off. Omar screamed, 'HEY! It was too late. The car struck the center divider and spun back into the flow of traffic. An oncoming car hit my door. That car was also hit by another vehicle. We finally came to a halt somewhere in the middle of the freeway, a hundred yards from the spot of the collision. I didn't feel any pain. I was just dizzy, I heard Omar and Malik moaning as good civilians tried pulling us from the wreck.

I wasn't rescued until the fire fighters arrived. It was quite a task recovering my battered body from my totaled car. Breathing became difficult. The fire fighters huddled around me and frantically applied device after device. 'He's not gonna make it,' I heard one of them say. I 'm not gonna make it? How? I didn't feel like I was dying. I felt nothing. My heart started pounding. I was soaked in sweat and blood. I saw Malik standing over the top of me with tears in his eyes. 'Don't quit on me', he told me. At that time I knew it was over. I started to cry. The fire fighters moved him away as they made last attempts to revive me. I died. An angel came to me and removed my soul. I watched him fly away with it in disbelief. 'How could you? I'm not even 27,' I pleaded. 'It's time,' he told me and left. Two minutes later they pulled a white sheet over me. Omar and Malik, apparently doing better than me, pulled the sheet back to look at me one last time. They cried their eyeballs out, I had known then over since I was 13 years old and had never seen either one cry. It was a depressing sight.

The ride to the morgue, until then, was the worst experience I ever had. I was alone. It was dark and cold. I missed my mom. I missed my brother. I missed my sister. I wished I had spent that last night with my family instead of with Omar and Malik. I worried what my mother was going to do when she saw me in this state. I was ugly. When we finally arrived, I was placed in another cold room with dozens of other dead people. I missed my family so much. Every so often a family came in to view their dead. I always thought it was my family but it wasn't. Hour after hour passed. No mom. No dad. I started to cry again. Then one odd hour I recognised voices. My father walked in with my mother in his arms. His face worn from stress. Hers wet with tears. They just stared into my eyes and cried. I stared back. I wanted to tell them I loved them. I couldn't. I wanted to hug them. I couldn't. Mom stroked my bloodied hair and left.

I was to be buried the next day. When my parents left, it hit me. I never made Isha! My heart jumped out of my chest. I owed Allah a salah and failed to deliver it to him. I had hundreds of missed salahs over the past two years. Now I was about to face him. I felt powerless. For those of you who have never experienced guilt at death, there is not a worldly feeling that amounts to it. It is guilt and sorrow at another level. I tried getting up to make Isha but I couldn't move. It was over. I had no second chance.

Then I began to think back. I never knew my memory was so good. I had more than enough time to ponder as I was awaiting my burial. I literally remembered every single salah I missed and the reasons why I missed them. Most were laziness, procrastination and neglectfulness. I knew I was in trouble. I wished they would take longer to bury me. I failed! I failed! I failed!

My girlfriend paid me a visit. She was a devil. When I was alive I saw her as a pretty angel. My pretty angel who loved me and would do anything to make me happy. If I had the ability, I would have cursed her and demanded her to leave the morgue. She put her hand on my forehead. I allowed her to do that for that past four years. Now that I opposed to it, I could do nothing about it. The devil cried for hours at my side. She just would not leave. I felt cheated. I felt like she pulled a prank on me for the past couple years of my life. I hated this devil! She was ugly! She smelled horrible! She finally left. As she walked out the door my heart was filled with fear and anxiety.

The funeral was simple. My body was washed. I didn't seem to care that my naked body was exposed. My worries far surpassed my desire to be modest. I was wrapped in three white sheets. About 300 people attended my funeral. I was saddened not to see my mom at the funeral. I wished she came to see me one last time before they put me in the ground. I never knew so many people cared about me. Many just stared at the tightly wrapped figure in disbelief. Others cried and cried some more.

The mass prayed for me. Thousands of individual prayers were made. They asked Allah to have mercy on me. They asked him to forgive me. I wanted to pray for myself but I couldn't speak. I was helpless. I was carried to the hole in the middle of the barren desert. The people followed. It seemed like slow motion. I didn't want to go. If I had 24 bonus hours I would pray non-stop. They lowered me into the ground. The anticipation was eating away at me. I had surely failed life. I thought back on everything I had worked so hard to accomplish. I earned a college degree. I had a well paying job. I spent hours and hours in the weight room ever since I was 16 years old
developing my body. I had a pretty girlfriend who loved me. In that life, that was a badge of honor. But as they were lowering me into this grave, which seemed like it took forever, I realized that I couldn't use any of those 'accomplishments'. If only I had been that dedicated to making salah five times daily, I would have been at peace right now. Instead I am a nervous wreck beyond anything you all can comprehend.

Dirt fell in the hole. Darkness overcame my new home. The last shovels of sand filled the grave. Everyone sadly walked away. The graveyard started to empty. Family by family. Mine was the last to leave. The attendant left. By nightfall it was just me. All alone. My wrapping was soaked in sweat. I nervously awaited the angels to come and question me. They finally did. My final judgement has not been reached yet. I am now waiting for judgement day. Still lying here, alone, as day comes and night falls. Soon I will meet Allah himself and He will decide weather He will forgive me or not. I can only lay here, wait and hope The All Forgiving, The Most Merciful forgives me and does not punish me. I hope. That is all I have right now. Hope.

Courtesy: Al Jumuah Magazine.

Friends Forever

Feeling lonely!

I still remember the day we met, it was in May 2007, ever since we have been very good friends, alhamdulih. She was indeed a wonderful friend. Each time I had an important decision to make I would always consult her, she was my close confederate my best friend in all walks of life. I appreciated her and hounoured her for everything she was, we have had a few disagreements but alahmdulih we did mange to see them through without much difficulty by Allahs grace and rahma. The love the mercy allah swt placed between our hearts is something I can’t forget. I know she has to leave me now, it hurts but I know she will be happier with her new life, something she always dreamt of. May Allah swt always keep her happy and strong in this world, and give her the very best in both worlds, ameen !!!

If you are reading this, I’m sure you will :) sooner or later, Jazakkalh khira for being a wonderful friend. I sincerely love you a lot for Allah’s sake, inshallah I hope that we will be resurrected as 2 who sincerely loved each other for Allah’s sake only. I wish you the very best in your new life, May Allah swt make all your dreams come true! Ameen

All your prayers be answered

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agree that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, there was a woman who swam to his side of the land.On the other side of the island, there was nothing.

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?"

"My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything."

"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings."

"Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"

"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us.

My prayer for you today is that all your prayers be answered. Be blessed.

"What you do for others is more important than what you do for yourself."

Encouraging words from a pious slave of Allah swt

This was in response to an email from another sister; I won’t mention any names here as I consider it inappropriate I just pondered over her words of advice. How strong are they, may Allah swt make all of us among such pious people. May Allah swt always bless this sister for her patience and firm conviction.Ameen



assalamualaikum warahmatullahi taala wabarakatuh

sis, i pray to Allah to give you strength to face any difficulty in life...
sis, whenever you think that Allah had already take something precious from you, just think million other things that Allah gave you...don't think about the guy, just think about your eyes, your mouth, your face and others.. Allah create it perfectly...

sis, 2 months ago, i just undergo operation for my disease...i have hemorrhagic ovarian cyst and i also have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)...i am just 20...i am not married yet..the disease will cause me to face infertility in future life...but i am not regretting for what had happen..i believe in Allah...i believe what Allah has plan for me is the best...Allah is with me all the time...no matter if there is nobody with me, but Allah is there for me...

sis, i am a medical student.. i know the fact of my disease...it is not easy for me to accept it at first...i am crying all the time...i also felt like what you felt right now..i felt that i want to die...
but sis, Allah give me a lesson,,,during the operation, i face difficulty in breathing... i forgot everything.. .it is just something that i can't explain to you..i already face death...it is just something that is so scary....starting from that moment, i tried my best to become a better Muslim...

sis, if you felt your problem is big, just think about others...think about Palestinian. .our sisters and mothers in Palestine is being raped, being killed...just think about them and you will felt that your problem is just so small...

sis, there is so many things to do..Ummah is waiting for us...when you think about the Ummah, you will not have time to think about yourself...

i am sorry if my words hurt you...i don't mean it...all the goodness is from Allah...may Allah protect you and give you strength...

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi taala wabarakatuh

My Allah

by Zohra Moosa

The noor of Allah surrounds us.
The love of Allah enfolds us.
The power of Allah protects us.
The presence of Allah watches over us.
Wherever we are Allah is and all is well.
Take this day to be thankful for the people you have in life . . .
Life isn’t measured by the mountains of gold you have . . .
But by the mountain of people that you hold close to your heart.

My heart is filled with pain

My heart is filled with pain
Did I lose the game again?
I try my best to be at my best
But Ya Allah deep down I feel the pain!

I sincerely want to love you all my life
Is it ok to feel the pain once in a while?
I never mean to be ungrateful to you
But at times I just can’t hold my self through

You have blessed my life with your divine love
Peace and contentment is paramount
But at times I feel I’m breaking apart
Please do forgive me if I sound far apart

In your remembrance my lonely heart finds its peace
At times I do not know why I feel so lonely and weak
I try my best to be focused and alive
But at times tears break me apart

I know that you watch over me from heavens above
Each tear, sadness, sorrow is part of my life
Only to you do I turn in my pain
Please help me see through these rainy days

They say after rain there will be sunshine
Each difficulty will be followed by ease
Why do some matters sound so difficult?
Forgive me my lord if I sound so weak

I pen my feelings down as a poem
Becoz I don’t want to hurt the ones who feel
So much love and compassion
Towards my soul that’s at unease

Although my heart feels bewildered
My soul so lost and forgone
It sincerely believes in your wisdom
Your plans and foresight so strong

Each difficulty will make me stronger
Stronger than what I was before
Each trial will be a term test
With reports from heavens above

Please forgive me when I whine out of pain
Please forgive me when tears flow down my cheeks
I never mean to complain against your divine decree
Its only because I’m a human so weak

As each night brings a new day
I know that you will alleviate my pain
Everything will have its end
My Allah is enough for me; my Allah is enough for me!

Dear Allah !

By Zainab Bint Abdur Rahman

Dear Allah, Here I am my Lord,
Standing before You, Praising You,
For the wonders and beauties of nature,
With its scenic charms and marvels;
The almost endless horizons in the sky,
And their far reaching expansions;
The ceaseless succession of day and night
The course of the sun,
The moon, and the great stars;
The world of animate and inanimate,
The continues process of evolution
Of man generation after generation.
And to all of these things,
With which I live,
And with which I immensely enjoy,
You are the Maker and You are the Maintainer.

Dear Allah, in this world,
You are the greatest force in action,
To keep everything in order.
In the beautiful nature,
You are the great artist,
Who creates the most charming
And most marvel pieces of art,
And produce everything
For a special purpose in life
The strongest force belongs to you
The greatest artist of all
And I myself believe in You
And deeply enlightened,
To recognize You,
As the Greatest, Oh Allah!

Dear Allah, it is You my Lord,
Who has made the night for me,
That I may rest therein,
And for the day to see.
Verily You are full of Grace,
And Bounty to your slaves,
You are Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim.
Yet most of us give no thanks,
Such its You my Lord,
The Khaliq of all things,
Lailahailaallah!!!
But I am so weak,
I am so sinful,
Dear Allah forgive me please,
Verily You are Ar-Rahim…

It is You who has made for me
The earth as the resting place
And the sky as my shelter,
And has given me shape,
And made my shape beautiful,
And has provided for me sustenance
Of things, good and pure.
Such it's You, Oh Allah,
The Loving, The Enricher.

Glory be to You, Oh Allah,
The Lord of the worlds!
The Sovereign Lord,
The Source of Peace,
The Guardian of Faith,
There is no God but You!
And I call upon you,
And I give you my sincere devotion,
All Praises be to You, Oh Allah,
The worthy to be worship.

Dear Allah, Here I am my Lord,
Prostrating before you, and fearing You.
Hoping for You to forgive my sins;
All of the wrong doings that I have done,
All of the transgressions that I have done,
All that is wrong because of my weakness

Dear Allah, my Lord,
You gave me enough sensibility,
To recognize my sins and shortcomings.
You gave me enough sensibility,
To know where to turn,
And to Whom should I turn to Guidance
And it is You!
Who is ever prepared to respond
To my sincere calls, and I seek aid.
You are so Gracious and Compassionate
That Your forgiveness, is In-compassing
And Your mercy, All-inclusive.

Dear Allah, my Lord,
When at times that I am down
And you send me trials
And I found myself sobbing,
You were still here to Guide me,
You never left me alone,
You are always with As-Sabirin
You are my rescuer
You are all for me
For you created me!

You gave me life with its purpose
You created me to serve that purpose
Then I can not escape the responsibility
I cannot deny my existence
Or ignore the vital role
That I have to play.
And when you charge me (with any responsibility)
You provide for me,
With all the required assistance
You endow unto me,
With intelligence and power
To choose my course of conduct
And I am strongly commanded by You
To exert my utmost to fully serve
The purpose of my existence.

To You, Oh Allah,
I pray, that I may fulfill
The purpose of life
And realize the goal of existence
Help me to learn,
The creative art of living.
And enjoy the good taste of life
According to Your Divine Guidance
The Divine Guidance that is from You
My life is a trust from You,
And I am Your trustee
Who should handle my trust
With honesty and skill
With mindfulness of You, Oh Allah!
And with consciousness..
Of responsibility to You, Dear Allah!

And in this life, my Dear Allah,
Is likened to a journey.
And I am a traveler,
Passing by the world.
And in this life journey
I am concerned
With only what is of use
For me in the Future Life
I should do all the good that I can
And make myself fully prepared
To move any minute to Eternity.
This is a chance provided for me
To make the best of it while I can
And its time to leave comes

And If You will, my Dear Allah!
I will live, according to your teachings
And I will make it a safe passage
To the Future Life of Eternity.
My life belongs to You
And there is no doubt,
I shall return unto You!, Oh Dear Allah!

You are High and Supreme,
And You are so near to Your slaves
Slaves who are pious and thoughtful.
You answer our prayers and You help us
You love people who love You,
You give me peace and happiness
You give me knowledge and success
You give me life and protection.
You welcome me,
When I want to be at peace
And you never reject me.
You thought me to be good
To do the right
And to keep away from wrong
Because you are good and loving
You recommend and accept
Only the good and right things.
The door of your mercy
Is always open wide to any
Those who sincerely seek,
We seek for Your support and protection.

Dear Allah, Here I am my Lord!
With my sob and with my tears
With my intimate love
And with my solemn prayers
Verily, all praise is due to You, Oh Allah!
We praise You, and we seek aid
We seek Your forgiveness
We seek refuge in You
From the evil in our souls
And sins in our deeds.
Glory be to You, Oh Allah!

And all praise.
I bear witness that
There is no God except You
We seek Your forgiveness
And we repent to You, sincerely
May Your blessings and peace
Be upon us, your slaves
And to the Noble Prophet Muhammad
And upon his family
His companion and all his followers
Until the Day of Judgement.

To My Sisters in God

Jhangeer Hanif

Superstitious! Coward! Old fashioned! are the words that still echoed in her head. Her face was soaked with warm drops that she had shed during the past couple of hours while she had prostrated herself before the Almighty time and again in this interval. She did not know how long she had been up collecting and presenting before Allah the broken pieces of her soft heart which was brutally hurt by the ruthless comments her friends made at the college this morning. She had always been kind to them but they would always pass low comments about her attire and for her fear and concern about the Hereafter. Her only crime was that she could not leave her head and chest uncovered like them and that she could not put on skin tight almost transparent garments. She had always found it hard to show interest in the topics they would discuss. She knew that modesty was her real asset and that inner-purification was the real objective of her life in this world. How could she go against the values that the Almighty had inculcated within herself? How could she undertake to do something that her conscience would vehemently disapprove of? Now at this moment of the dark night when she saw that she could not cope with the situation anymore, she resolved that she's had enough. She must quit going to the college and shut herself up from the rest of the world!

Such an event may take place in the life of many people with little change in the details of the scenario. But they are often led to arrive at the same decision because of the morbidly obnoxious treatment they have to receive for opting to live their lives according to the injunctions put forth by the Almighty. This is awfully ironic, that the world plays so insensitive a role to the sincere feelings of those people who wish to take all of them to the road that directly leads to eternal bliss. It is sad that those who must be respected and given an ear to hear soft words of good advice are mistreated and branded as inferior.

This writer does not have an iota of doubt in his mind that these circumstances are fair and just but his understanding of religion compels him to humbly present the complete picture before all his sisters in God so that they could know that 'quitting' is not what their Lord as well as this Ummah expects from them.

What they must realize is that the unbecoming behavior that their fellow human beings adopt towards their sincere feelings is nothing new and has been so since ages. When we peruse the Holy Qur'an or even study history we find that good souls always had to face hatred for showing unconditional love, hurling stones for offering the Garden of Paradise, and harsh comments for advancing words of wisdom and admonition. This however was their marvelous attribute that they never gave up and remained steadfast unless they either changed the world or sacrificed their lives for the sake of this holy mission. This quality is no doubt hard to imbibe and retain but very desirable for those who undertake to swim in the direction explored by their conscience instead of drifting along in the immoral current with other people. Further deliberation here reveals that while avoiding the circumstances resolves the crisis a person is currently facing for the time being, it allows a minor problem to eventually become a major one. To put it in other words, this attitude would surely permit the evil to entangle each and every person on the face of this earth till no one is left to proclaim the greatness of Allah. It is precisely for this reason that the Qur'an has urged us to assume the status of the exhorter as well as of the exhorted so that the good can flourish and the evil be put in check. The Qur'an thus reads:

Believing men and believing women are friends to each other. They enjoin what is good and forbid what is wrong. (9:71)

Another point that must be understood very clearly is about the nature of the test we are put through in this world. This life is not supposed to be a path adorned with roses that someone would have to tread until death overtakes them. The truth of the matter is that we have no choice but to prick our feet with thorns that have been scattered by the Almighty Himself on our way in the form of financial problems, natural calamities and humans themselves. We, therefore, must not suffer from the illusion that we will win entitlement to Paradise without being tested in this world. This idea has been expounded upon by the Qur'an in the following words:

Did you think that you would enter Paradise without Allah testing those of you who fought hard [in His cause] and remained steadfast? (3:142)

The implication being that when a believer undertakes to combat evil for the sake of Allah, he is not showered with rose petals. On the contrary, he has to face great difficulties and full-blown problems. But if he remains stoical and steadfast, he stands eligible to be blessed with everlasting life in the Garden of Paradise.

As far as the expectations of this Ummah are concerned, they must know that it wants them to become a role model for all women across the world. Everyone knows that there has been much hullabaloo over women's rights in the last couple of centuries and much of the blame was placed on the religion of Islam for violation thereof. Feminists clamorously put forward that Islam hampers the achievements that women can otherwise accomplish in every sphere of life. Although, it is a baseless allegation that the fanatics have placed on Islam in their struggle to renounce every religion that would endorse moral limits, many people have gone astray because what they see in practice also substantiates the veracity of the allegation. Innumerable articles have been written to refute the claims of the feminists. But this alone won't work. We must let the world see that a Muslim woman while observing all the injunctions of Islam can achieve astronomical targets that others would dare not to commence at all.

Obviously, this business necessitates that Muslim women be as daring as to challenge evil in its makeshift safe-haven and as bold as to overthrow all the absurdly fabricated claims of the feminists. They must be creative enough to introduce new chapters in the field of fine arts and as much intelligent as to make revolutionary discoveries in the field of science while keeping the Islamic attributes that make them unmatchable ornament.

Marriage – Is it an Illusion?

Sabirah was a well-mannered young lady. Her parents chose to name her as ‘Sabirah’ – the patient one, because they felt in this world of cause and effect there was much to endure. Although her family didn’t nurture her to be purely Islamic in all walks of her life the amount of intelligence Allah swt had bestowed upon her helped her to reach greater heights as a pious muslimah.

Sabirah was always diligent in her duties as any pious muslimah would be. She was very punctual in her prayers, offered non-obligatory prayers and fasts as well. Was kind towards both young and old; in other wards she depicted the portrait of an ideal young muslim lady.

As intelligent as she was, sabirah was successful in all walks of life. She excelled in her academics was very successful in her career, what more could anyone expect in their lives? Allah had gifted her with a lot of blessings; she thanked him day and night. As she reached adulthood despite all that she had achieved in her life she felt a deep sense of loneliness within. She felt the need of someone to share her life, to guide her on the right path, to love and cherish her for what she was.

By this time her parents had already felt the need and begun their pursuit in search of a suitable alliance for their pious, young and talented daughter. Sabirah was very keen to marry someone who was deeply religious and somewhat educated. But as days passed by things got harder, in a society such as the one Sabirah lived in wealth and pride took precedence over true piety and bashfulness. Many only sought behind big dowries, outer appearance and the like, some even demanded houses and lands in exchange of their well groomed sons, Sabirah remained steadfast, she wouldn’t marry such a crook who wasn’t even strong enough to stand on his own. Proposals came and they went nothing really worked out, Sabirah raised her hands in dua “Ya Allah, Marriage looks like an illusion for the truly pious, please make it easy upon me and my sisters in Islam who truly follow your path” she implored fervently.

Allah swt might or might answer the duas of many like Sabirah in this world, but surely if they remain patient and steadfast as Sabirah he will reward them for their patience and reward them with something better in this life or the hereafter. It is Allah my lord who has said “And certainly, we shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sâbirin (the patient ones, etc.).”

Stress and Anxiety

25 Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety

by Abdul Malik Mujahid

Stress is life. Stress is anything that causes mental, physical, or spiritual tension. There is no running away from it. All that matters is how you deal with it. This article does not deal with the factors of stress, anxiety, and depression, nor is it a clinical advice. If you feel depressed, you are not alone. It has been estimated that 75 to 90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians in America are for stress-related problems. This is why it is wise to consult a doctor if you are having physical symptoms of stress. However, here are some tips that can help from a spiritual perspective. Please send us your feedback so that we can improve this article Insha Allah.
Torture. Beatings. Loss of property. The death of loved ones. These were just some of the enormous challenges the Muslims of Makkah faced in the seventh century following their acceptance of Islam in fiercely tribal and polytheistic Makkah.

Detention. Harassment. Beatings. Discrimination. Loss of Job. Profiling. Hate Crimes. Constant media attention. Surveillance. These are just some of the challenges Muslims in America today face, post-9/11. Like our predecessors in Makkah, we have begun to face great stress, anxiety, and pressure, more than ever in our recent history on this continent, although Muslims who were brought here as slaves faced worse than what we can even imagine.

1. Ask Him. He Listens: Dua

Turn each anxiety, each fear and each concern into a Dua (supplication) . Look at it as another reason to submit to God and be in Sajdah (prostration) , during which you are closest to Allah. God listens and already knows what is in your heart, but He wants you to ask Him for what you want. The Prophet said: Allah is angry with those who do not ask Him for anything (Tirmidhi).
The Prophet once said that in prayer, he would find rest and relief (Nasai). He would also regularly ask for God’s forgiveness and remain in prostration during prayer praising God (Tasbeeh) and asking for His forgiveness (Bukhari).

Allah wants you to be specific. The Prophet advised us to ask Allah for exactly what we want instead of making vague Duas. Dua is the essence of worship (the Prophet as quoted in Tirmidhi).

"Call on your Lord with humility and in private: for Allah loveth not those who trespass beyond bounds. Do not make mischief on the earth, after it hath been set in order, but call on Him with fear. And longing (in your hearts): for the mercy of Allah is (always) near to those who do good" (Quran 7:55-56).

2. Tie your Camel: Do your Part

One day Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel without tying it. He asked the Bedouin, "Why don't you tie down your camel?" The Bedouin answered, "I put my trust in Allah." The Prophet then said, "Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah" (Tirmidhi).

Muslims must never become fatalistic. Although we know only Allah is in control and that He has decreed all things, we are each responsible for making the right choices and doing the right thing in all situations of our lives. We must take action (link to planning articles on SV). We must work to alleviate the hardships we, our families and our communities face.

Ask yourself the following questions if you are worried about the state of the world: are you part of the peace movement? Is your Masjid part of the peace movement? Are you part of an interfaith group with an agenda of peace and justice? Are you working with a group fighting discrimination? If your answer is no, it is time that you sat down to plan your share of time and money in finding solutions to the problems you face. "Verily Allah does not change men’s condition unless they change their inner selves" (Quran 13: 11).

Turn each worry into a Dua and each Dua into an action plan. That will show your commitment to your request and will focus your energy in the right direction.

3. Remember that human responsibility is limited

While we need to carry out our duty to the best of our abilities, always remember that you don't control the outcome of events. Even the Prophets did not control the outcome of their efforts. Some were successful, others were not. Once you have done your duty, leave the results to Allah. Regardless of the results of your efforts, you will be rewarded for the part you have played.

However, never underestimate your abilities. Understand the concept of Barakah (blessings from Allah) and remember that Allah can and Insha Allah will expand them if you are sincerely exerting your energies for the right path.

4. Leave the world behind you five times a day

Use the five daily prayers as a means to become more Hereafter-oriented and less attached to this temporary world. Start distancing yourself as soon as you hear Adhan, the call to prayer. When you perform Wudu, keep repeating Shahada, the declaration of faith, as water drops slip down your face, hands, arms, and hair. When you stand ready to pray, mentally prepare yourself to leave this world and all of its worries and stresses behind you.

Of course, Shaytan will try to distract you during prayer. But whenever this happens, go back and remember Allah. The more you return, the more Allah will reward you for it. Also, make sure your Sajdas (prostrations) are talking Sajdas, in which you are really connecting to God and seeking His Mercy, praising Him, and asking His forgiveness. (link to Sajda article…ramadan page)

5. Seek help through Sabr

Seek help through Sabr and Salat (Quran 2:45). This instruction from Allah provides us with two critical tools that can ease our worries and pain. Patience and prayer are two oft-neglected stressbusters. Sabr is often translated as patience but it is not just that. It includes self-control, perseverance, endurance, and a focussed struggle to achieve one’s goal. Unlike patience, which implies resignation, the concept of Sabr includes a duty to remain steadfast to achieve your goals despite all odds.

Being patient gives us control in situations where we feel we have little or no control. ‘We cannot control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to our circumstances’ is the mantra of many modern-day self-help books. Patience helps us keep our mind and attitude towards our difficulties in check.

6. Excuse Me! You are Not Running the World, He is.

It is important to remind ourselves that we don’t control all the variables in the world. God does. He is the Wise, the All-Knowing. Sometimes our limited human faculties are not able to comprehend His wisdom behind what happens to us and to others, but knowing that He is in control and that as human beings we submit to His Will, enriches our humanity and enhances our obedience (Uboodiah in Arabic) towards him. Read the story of the encounter of Moses with the mysteries behind God’s decision (Quran: 18:60-82). Familiarize yourself with God's 99 Names, which are also known as His Attributes. It is a powerful way of knowing Him.
"God-there is no deity save Him, the Ever-Living, the Self-Subsistent Fount of All being. Neither slumber overtakes Him, nor sleep. His is all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth. Who is there that could intercede with Him, unless it be by His leave? He knows all that lies open before men and all that is hidden from them, whereas they cannot attain to aught of His knowledge save that which He wills them to attain. His eternal power overspreads the heavens and the earth, and their upholding wearies Him not. And He alone is truly exalted, tremendous." (Quran 2:255).

The Prophet recommended reading this verse, known as Ayat al kursi, after each prayer, Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him. Once Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, approached the Prophet during a difficult time and he found the Prophet in Sajda, where he kept repeating "Ya Hayy Ya Qayyum", words which are part of this verse.

7. Birds Don’t Carry their Food

Allah is al Razzaq (the Provider). "How many are the creatures that carry not their own sustenance? It is Allah Who feeds them and you, for He hears and knows all things (Quran 29:60)." By reminding yourself that He is the Provider, you will remember that getting a job or providing for your family in these economically and politically challenging times, when Muslims are often the last to be hired and the first to be fired, is in God’s Hands, not yours. As Allah says in the Quran: "And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion (Quran 65:3).

8. God controls Life and Death

If you fear for your physical safety and security, remember that only Allah gives life and takes it back and, that He has appointed the time for it. No one can harm you except if Allah wills. As He says in the Quran: "Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are in towers built up strong and high!" (Quran 4:78).

9. Remember that life is short

It's easy to get caught up in our own stress and anxiety. However, if we remember that our life is short and temporary, and that the everlasting life is in the Hereafter, this will put our worries in perspective.

This belief in the transitory nature of the life of this world reminds us that whatever difficulties, trials, anxieties, and grief we suffer in this world are, Insha Allah, something we will only experience for a short period of time. And more importantly, if we handle these tests with patience, Allah will reward us for it.

10. Do Zikr !

"… without doubt in the remembrance (Zikr) of Allah do hearts find tranquility" (Quran 13:28).
If you commute, use your time in Zikr. Pick any Tasbeeh and do that instead of listening to the radio or reading the newspaper. Maybe you can divide it up between Zikr and planning. Personally, I recite the Tasbeeh of "Subhana Allahe wa be hamdihi, subhan Allahil Azeem" 100 times as I drive. The Prophet taught us these two short phrases which are easy to say but will weigh heavy on our scale of good deeds in the Hereafter.

When your heart feels heavy with stress or grief, remember Allah and surround yourself with His Zikr. Zikr refers to all forms of the remembrance of Allah, including Salat, Tasbeeh, Tahmeed, Tahleel, making supplication (Dua), and reading Quran.

"And your Lord says: ‘Call on Me; I will answer your (prayer)…" (Quran 40:60)
By remembering Allah in the way He has taught us to, we are more likely to gain acceptance of our prayers and His Mercy in times of difficulty. We are communicating with the only One Who not only Hears and Knows all, but Who can change our situation and give us the patience to deal with our difficulties.

"Remember Me, and I shall remember you; be grateful to Me, and deny Me not" (Quran 2:152).
11. Relying on Allah: Tawakkul

When you awaken in the morning, thank Allah for giving you life after that short death called sleep. When you step out of your home, say 'in Your Name Allah, I put my trust in Allah, and there is no power or force except with Allah' (Bismillahi Tawakal to al Allah wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah). At night, remember Allah, with His praises on your lips.
Once you have established a plan you intend to follow through on to deal with a specific issue or problem in your life, put your trust in the most Wise and the All-Knowing. "When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah" (Quran 3: 159).

Rely on Allah by constantly remembering Him throughout your day. When you lay down to sleep, remember that sleep is death. That is why one of the recommended supplications before going to sleep is "with Your (Allah's) Name I die and become alive".

12. Connect with other human beings

You are not alone. Muslims are not alone. We are not suffering in silence. There are millions of good people who are not Muslim with beautiful hearts and minds. These are people who have supported us, individually and collectively, post-9/11, by checking up on us and making sure we are safe. These are individuals and organizations who have spoken up in defense of Muslims as we endured harassment and discrimination.

We must think of them, talk to them, connect with them, and pray for them. Through our connections, we will break the chain of isolation that leads to depression and anxiety.

13. Compare your dining table with that of those who don't have as much as you do

The Prophet said: Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects (so that you may thank Allah for His blessings) (Bukhari, Muslim).

Next time you sit down to eat, eye the table carefully. Check out the selection of food, the quality, the taste, the quantity, and then think of the millions of others who don't have even half as much. The Prophet's Hadith reminds us of this so that we can appreciate and thank God for all that we have.

Also remember that the Prophet only encouraged us to compare ourselves to others in two respects: in our Islamic knowledge and level of belief in God (Deen). In these two areas, we should compare ourselves with those who have more than what we do.

14. Say it Loud: Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar: Takbirat & Adhan

Find a corner of a lake, go out in the wilderness, or even stand on your lawn at your home and call the Adhan with your heart. While driving, instead of listening to the same news over and over again, say Allahu Akbar as loudly as you can or as softly as you want, based on your mood. Year ago, I remember calling Adhan on a Lake Michigan shore in Chicago after sunset as the water gushed against my knees. I was calling it for myself. There was no one else accept the waves after waves of water with their symphony. It was relaxing and meaningful. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.

15. Pray in congregation (Jamat)

Pray with other people instead of alone. If you can't pray all five prayers in congregation, at least find one or two prayers you can pray with others. If you are away, establish Jamat in your own family. During the Prophet's time, even though the Muslims endured great persecution, including physical beatings, they would sometimes meet on the side of a mountain or valley and tried to pray together. This is a great morale booster.

16. How is your Imam's Dua?

Does the Imam at your local mosque make Dua silently or out loud? Ask him to supplicate with the whole congregation. Suggest Duas for him to make. Ask him to make Dua for other people.

17. Work for the Unity of Muslims

Bringing Muslims together will not only help the Muslims, but it will also encourage you to focus your energies on something constructive versus zeroing in on and consistently fretting about difficulties you are going through.

Invite Muslims from other ethnic groups to your functions. Visit Masjids other than yours in your city. When you meet a Muslim leader, after thanking him for his efforts, ask him what he is doing for Muslim unity. Ask Imams to make Dua for this. These are just small ways you can help yourself and the Muslim community.

18. Sleep the way the Prophet slept

End your day on a positive note. Make Wudu, then think of your day. Thank Allah for all the good things you accomplished, like Zikr and Salat. Ask yourself what you did today to bring humanity together and what you did to help Muslims become servants of humanity. For everything positive, say Alhamdu lillah (Praise be to Allah). For everything negative say Astaghfirullah wa atoobo ilayk (I seek Allah's forgiveness and I turn to You [Allah]). Recite the last two chapters of the Quran, thinking and praying as you turn on your right side with your hand below your right cheek, the way the Prophet used to sleep. Then close your day with the name of Allah on your tongue. Insha Allah, you will have a good, restful night.

19. Begin the Day on a Positive Note

Get up early. Get up thanking God that He has given you another day. Alhamdu lillahil lazi ahyana bada ma amatana, wa ilaihin Nushoor (Praise be to Allah Who gave us life after death and unto Him will be the return). Invest in an audio tape driven alarm clock so you can get up to the melody of the Quran. Develop your to do list for the day if you didn't do it the night before. Begin with the name of Allah, with Whose name nothing in the heavens or the earth can hurt you. He is the Highest and the Greatest. (Bismillahillazi la yazurru maa ismihi shaiun fil arze wa la fis samae, wahuwal Alee ul Azeem). The Prophet used to say this after every Fajr and Maghrib prayers.

20. Avoid Media Overexposure: Switch from News to Books

Don't spend too much time checking out the news on the radio, television or internet. Spend more time reading good books and journals. When you listen to the persistent barrage of bad news, especially relating to Muslims nowadays, you feel not only depressed, but powerless. Cut down media time to reduce your stress and anxiety. It's important to know what's going on but not to an extent that it ruins your day or your mood.

21. Pray for Others to Heal Yourself.

The Prophet was always concerned about other people, Muslims and non-Muslims, and would regularly pray for them. Praying for others connects you with them and helps you understand their suffering. This in itself has a healing component to it. The Prophet has said that praying for someone who is not present increases love.

22. Make the Quran your Partner

Reading and listening to the Quran will help refresh our hearts and our minds. Recite it out loud or in a low voice. Listen to it in the car. When you are praying Nafl or extra prayers, pick it up and use it to recite portions of the Quran you are not as familiar with. Connecting to the Quran means connecting to God. Let it be a means to heal your heart of stress and worries. Invest in different recordings of the Quran and their translations.

"O humanity! There has come to you a direction from your Lord and a cure for all [the ills] in men’s hearts - and for those who believe, a Guidance and a Mercy" (Quran 10:57).

23. Be thankful to Allah

"If you are grateful, I will give you more" (Quran 14:7).
Counting our blessings helps us not only be grateful for what we have, but it also reminds us that we are so much better off than millions of others, whether that is in terms of our health, family, financial situation, or other aspects of our life. And being grateful for all we have helps us maintain a positive attitude in the face of worries and challenges we are facing almost daily.

24. Ideals: One step at a time

Ideals are wonderful things to pursue. But do that gradually. Think, prioritize, plan, and move forward. One step at a time.

25. Efforts not Results Count in the Eyes of Allah

Our success depends on our sincere efforts to the best of our abilities. It is the mercy of Allah that He does not demand results, Alhamdu lillah. He is happy if He finds us making our best sincere effort. Thank you Allah!

Khadija RA

I Implore !!!

I implore to you my lord, with a heart filled with sadness and sorrow, but I also do understand and comprehend the wisdom behind your decisions at least to a level which enables me to be thankful and grateful to you. You are my Allah, you alone do I worship to you alone do I turn for help and guidance. Please help every soul striving in your path, and help them not to be misled by the fitnahs of this world. I am a weak person, very weak indeed, with no strength at all, except by your permission and decree. Being close and obedient to you is always my heart’s desire, please Allah keep me always close to you forever!!! Make that day I meet you the happiest and the most awaited day in my life, and grant me such patience to traverse through this life as a stranger and not to burden any soul by my existence.

When the going gets tough !!!

May Allah swt grant all of us the strength to be better muslims,amen. At times the problems life throws at us seem insurmountable, but Allah swt is always with us. Convincing people who do not believe in the decree of Allah swt seems so difficult, may Allah swt protect us from being one of them. Life can only run smoothly if we firmly believe that Allah swt is always with us, no mountain will look too high to conquer and no problem would weigh us down, inshallah.

At times being just alone and reflecting through everything gives us the inner strength and vision to make the correct decision. I just don’t want to displease my Allah in any decision I make in life,YA Allah please do give me the strength to make the correct choices and to be very close to you always, for verily only in your remembrance does my heart find its peace and contentment. Please do not allow me to live until a day where my imaan would be threatened by the evil forces around me and within, please do lift my soul before such misfortune strikes me, please always guide me on the right path, the path which would take me unto you, amen !

THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD

THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD

By Saleh Ali

I'M NOT A mother. But I've been blessed with a great one for almost a quarter century. That's education enough, at least for one thing: Choosing a partner who embodies the top four qualities I believe a mother must have to help their Muslim children, in the words of the Quran, "grow up wholesomely in the years of their growing" (3:37). So here they are:

1. MATURITY: This trait leads my list because the surest way to guarantee a child won't be reared properly is for it to be raised by another child. A woman of minimum maturity cares for the souls that have come from her womb like the Heavenly blessings they are: Far and away, the most important family responsibility for both mother and father. The wise Woman knows the wellbeing of her offspring comes before her career, social life, even her own needs.

2. KNOWLEDGE: Education, both Islamic and academic (not that these are different), is essential in a good mother. It is not a coincidence that children of highly educated parents often do well in school. My prototypical mother is one who can help the little ones with their academics even when they get to be big ones and go on to higher education.

Moreover, a woman who is well grounded in the religious sciences makes the very best soil for child growth. That old adage about mother being the first teacher is entirely true. During my own childhood, for instance, my mother made an effort to treat birthdays and our many other market-driven holidays just like any other day. I intend to liberate my children accordingly, having freely lived the great benefits of this policy. A good Islamic background does, indeed, have a righteous domino effect on the character of our children and, therefore, the virtue of the family.

Now, Islamic knowledge means more than giving children a laundry list of "do's and don'ts." I was particular when I used the Phrase "religious sciences" regarding a good mother's education, for a mother, like a father, needs to understand how it is that we come to judgments, practices, and jurisdictions from the Quran and Sunnah. In this way, children will not merely accumulate disconnected outcomes but learn the processes by which they are to deduce their own conclusions about moral and religious issues, instead of blindly following a person or group.

3. PATIENCE AND MERCY: I really can't think of more crucial human characteristics than these twin attributes. Mothers facing the frenzied pressures of our tough social environment profoundly need both. It is critical that a good mother refrain from hitting or yelling at her children out of frustration, of which there is much to go around. Children carry the emotional scars of unnecessary and unfair beatings with them in to adulthood and often develop complexes and hold grudges against their parents because of this. Additionally, it is sinful for any of us to abuse our authority in the form of harmful physical or verbal abuse.

4. ROLE MODELING: The mother I envision for my own children is, most of all, a role model, an integrated example of Islam in motion. For it is by this that she will best represent for her children how one lives as a whole human being. It is, moreover, the pre-eminent, most dependable way for her to gain their sovereign respect , on top of the natural feelings they have for her as their mother, which is important. Children should live thinking that their mother is close to perfect. She can't forbid her child from listening to hip hop music, for example, while she sways to R & B or Arabic songs. Part of modeling is also literal: She dresses modestly and carries herself with the dignity a Muslim woman should. This is not only ideal for daughters but sons, as well. The girls learn how they ought to behave and the boys – along with –that –begin to understand what they should really want in a wife, someone whose merits approach the high standard they have grown up with in their mother.

I have no illusions about being able to supplant a mother's role in the life of the children I pray that God gives me. For rearing a child correctly does, indeed, take an exclusive dedication from a "real" woman.

Yet just as mothers grow proud of their children, so too daughters and, perhaps, especially sons, swell with a unique sense of honor when they begin to realize the worthiness of their mother. Soon, they will be looking around to see how other mothers treat their children and comparing it to their own situations.

I ask Allah to grant me, and all my unmarried peers, children of the righteous who esteem their mothers. I know no human being is perfect. But good Muslim mothers (mom!), you come closer to this than any of us.

(Courtesy: Al Jumuah Magazine)

Anger Management

Do you ever find yourself getting more and more angry and frustrated while trying to explain what is bothering you? Perhaps you feel like others are not really listening to you or trying to understand things from your perspective. In such circumstances, you may end up raising your voice or becoming verbally or even physically abusive. Unfortunately, responding in this manner usually decreases your chances of being listened to with empathy and compassion.

Another maladaptive way of handling your feelings, perhaps out of fear of losing control, is to work extra hard at keeping everything bottled up inside. What happens here is similar to what happens when a balloon keeps filling up with more and more air. The balloon will expand as far as it can and then eventually pop. However, if the balloon periodically releases some of its air, the likelihood is it will never reach that point of popping. Similarly, a person who uses assertive communication will be much less likely to become explosive. As one of the eight core anger control tools, assertive communication involves honestly and effectively communicating your feelings while doing so in a non-hostile fashion.

Perhaps most challenging when using assertive communication is to express your feelings without the other person becoming angry or defensive. What makes this so difficult is that people, for the most part, do not like to be criticized. Telling somebody what they did wrong, what you do not like about their behavior, or how they hurt your feelings can very easily trigger a negative reaction.

One of the most effective ways of using assertive communication is by using a technique known as the Compliment Sandwich. The meat of the sandwich (your complaint, criticism, or concern) is surrounded by two pieces of bread (compliments or positive feedback). In order to minimize defensiveness, you would begin with a compliment (the first piece of bread), then present the main message that you are trying to communicate (the meat), and then finish with another compliment (the second piece of bread).

To help illustrate, here is an example of the Compliment Sandwich:

* I have always considered you to be one of my best friends (first compliment/positive feedback).

* So when I heard that you were talking behind my back, I felt really hurt. What I need is for you to talk to me directly and not get others involved (critical feedback).

* You have always been there for me in the past, and I know I can still count on you (second compliment/positive feedback).

As you can see in the aforementioned example, the Compliment Sandwich made it possible for an important communication to be made in a non-hostile manner. By opening and closing with positive feedback, a friendly tone was set and an important message was able to be conveyed. Rather than aggressively attack the other person and risk making matters worse or bottle things up and become potentially explosive, this type of communication allows one to get things off his or her chest without putting the other person on the defensive.

There are, however, a few key suggestions for using the Compliment Sandwich effectively. First, it is essential that your praise be genuine. As challenging as it may seem with some of the more difficult people in your life, you should be able to think of at least two things to say that are both complimentary and sincere. It may take some extra thought on your part, but there is almost always something positive that you can say.

It is also important to avoid overuse of this technique so that your words do not appear to be contrived. Finally, your compliments should in some way be related to the critical message that you are trying to convey. This is necessary in order for the conversation to flow smoothly and to feel genuine.

Thus, the example provided earlier would lose its effectiveness if the compliments seemed to be out of left field (e.g., "I have always admired your dancing ability." and "You are such a terrific football player."). These compliments may be genuine, but have absolutely nothing to do with your friend talking behind your back.

By properly using anger management techniques such as the Compliment Sandwich, one can minimize the potential cost of anger. Health problems, impaired self-esteem, damaged relationships, emotional scarring of one's children, and a drop in productivity at work are all potential outcomes of uncontrolled anger. On the other hand, when channeled properly, anger can have many benefits.

So the next time someone hurts your feelings or offends you, instead of bottling things up or exploding, why not try something new and give a Compliment Sandwich? You might be pleasantly surprised by the results.

About the Author:

Dr. Lyle Becourtney, a New York State Licensed Psychologist and Certified Anger Management Professional, has a private office in Blauvelt, NY in Rockland County. His anger management program provides an excellent opportunity for teens and adults to learn new anger management skills and techniques:

http://www.angermanagementgroups.com/Skills.html

In addition to weekly anger management groups and individual counseling programs, Dr. Becourtney trains other mental health professionals and parents on how to implement a proven discipline program in the home.

Chatting between men and women

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, if this correspondence is free from immorality and love?
He replied:

It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that.

A person may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who heard of the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and said that a man may approach him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying until he leads him astray.

Correspondence between young men and women involves a great deal of fitnah and danger, so we must avoid it, even though the questioner says that this correspondence is free from immorality and love.

From Fataawa al-Mar'ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 96.
Undoubtedly correspondence via chat rooms is more dangerous than correspondence by mail,
but both are bad.

And Allaah knows best.Islam Q&A
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Ruling on entering chat rooms on the Internet for fun
click here

Du’a And Its Relationship With Destiny

by Shaykh Abû Ammâr Yasir al-Qadhî

The topic of du’a and its relationship to destiny ( qadr) is a very important one, and one around which much confusion exists. Many people ask: “If everything has already been destined to occur, then of what use is du’a, as, if Allah has written what I want, I will get it without making du'a and if it is not written for me, then I will never get it no matter how much du’a I make?”

The response to this question lies in understanding that the outcome of anything is dependent on the performance of the efforts that are necessary to procure it. In other words, it has already been decreed, for example, that a seed will give fruit if planted, but this will not occur unless the farmer takes the appropriate efforts in irrigating the crop, maintaining it, protecting the seedling as it grows, and ensuring as much as he can that the factors are amenable for the plant to give fruit.

So even though a person believes in the Divine Decree, he must at the same time strive all he can to ensure that the desired goal occurs. So du’a is the means that one uses to achieve the desired goal that one has, and this means in no way contradicts the destiny that has been written for that person.

This stance is clarified by the Prophet’s (SAWS) hadith reported by Thawban, that he (SAWS) said:

“Nothing increases one’s life-span except good deeds, and nothing repels Divine Decree except dua. And verily, a person may be deprived of sustenance due to a sin that he does!”[1]

In other words, the performance of good deeds is a cause of increasing one’s life span, so if a person puts in the necessary effort, the results will be achieved, and this is also destined. So both the means to achieve a goal, and the fulfilment of the goal itself, are already decreed.

If someone were to ask: “How can du’a repel Divine Decree?” we would respond, “The fact that you may be ill has already been decreed by Allah for you, as has the fact that you will ask Allah to cure you of this illness (i.e. both the illness and your asking to cure the illness has been decreed). In a similar manner, a person maybe deprived of his sustenance that was decreed for him, since Allah’s eternal knowledge encompassed the fact that this person would perform a sinful deed that would cause the deprivation of his sustenance. All of this, then, is from the decree of Allah, all Glory and Praise be to Him”. There are a number of ahadith that clarify this point. For example, Mu'adh ibn Jabal reported that the Prophet (SAWS) said:

“Caution will be of no benefit against Divine Decree, but du’ a benefits all things, whether they come down or not. I therefore advise you to make du'a, O servants of Allah!” [2]

So no matter how cautious a person is, he cannot escape what is written for him, simply because Allah controls everything, and nothing escapes His Knowledge or Power. However, by turning to Allah through du’a, it is possible to avert something that might have been decreed. Salman al-Farsi narrated that the Prophet (SAWS) said:

“Nothing repels Divine Decree except du'a, and nothing increases one’s life-span except good deeds” [3]

This hadith informs us in no uncertain terms that the only way that we can repel some Divine Decree is through the means of du'a. So it is possible that some unpleasant matter has been preordained for us, but only if we do not make du’a to avert it from us. So if du’a is made, then this matter will not occur or be fulfilled, whereas if du’a is left, the misfortune will occur.

Another narration in al-Tirmidhi also supports this. The Prophet (SAWS) said:

“There is no Muslim on the face of the earth that asks Allah for anything except that Allah gives it to him, or averts from him a similar evil, as long as he does not ask for something evil or for breaking the ties of kinship”. [4]

From this narration, the benefits of du’a are made clear, and its value is understood. For not only is a person rewarded for making a du’a, but it is also a cause of repelling an evil that was destined for him, and in obtaining the good that he was expecting.

Ibn Hajr, commenting on the benefits of du’a, said:
“And the benefit of performing du’a is the attainment of reward by obeying the command (of Allah to make du’a), and also by the attainment of what is asked for, for there is a possibility that the request is dependent on the du’a, since Allah is the Creator of both the effort and result of the effort!” [5]

Therefore, the proper response to the question posed at the beginning of the chapter is,
in the words of Ibn al-Qayyim, as follows:

“The logical consequences of such a reasoning leads to a rejection of all efforts. It can, therefore, be said to a person who holds this view, ‘If the satisfaction of your hunger and thirst has already been destined for you, then it will be fulfilled, whether you eat or not. On the other hand, if it has not been destined for you, it will never occur, whether you eat or not.
“Now, will any sane person agree with all of these conclusions ?” [6]

To summarise, then, Divine Decree ( qadr) cannot be used as an excuse not to make du’a. For, just as one strives to ensure that one attains worldly needs, of food, drink and family, so too must one strive in ones religious deeds to attain the desired goal. Du’a is intrinsically related to qadr; in fact, it is a part of one’s qadr. Allah has already decreed that a certain matter will be granted to a servant, or an evil averted from him, if he makes du’a, so if he were to leave du’a, then the desired goal would not be reached.

Hence why it was the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAWS) to make the following du’a during the witr prayer:

“...Bless me in what You have given me. And avert and turn away from me the evil that has been decreed for me, for verily You Decree (all things), and none can decree against You..." [7]

So the Muslim turns to Allah and prays to Him so that any and all evil can be averted from him.

Additionally, it should be remembered that the concept of Divine Decree is one that a human can never fully understand, due to his limited intellect and finite capabilities. The true Muslim does not delve too deeply into the philosophical ramifications of Divine Decree. Rather, he accepts all that has occurred to him in the past as having been destined for him, and he strives to obtain what he desires in the future (as long as it is permissible for him). Since he does not know what has been written for him in the future, he expects the best from Allah, and does everything in his power to ensure that what he wants is granted him. Just like going to work every day will ensure, if Allah wills, that he gets his pay-cheque at the end of the month, so too does making du’a ensure, if Allah wills, that he achieves his desired goal.

Taken from the Book: Dua: The Weapon of the Believer published by al-Hidaayah Publications

Footnotes

1 Narrated by Ibn Majah #90, and Shaykh al-Albani said in Sahih Ibn Majah (73): “It is authentic without the addition, ‘And verily...’; see al-Sahihah, # 154.”
2 This hadith is weak. It was narrated by Ahmad, Abu Ya'la , and al-Tabarani in al-Kabir, as has been mentioned in Da’if al-Jami’ # 4785.
3 Authentic, reported by al-Tirmidhi and al-Hakim from Salman, and is in Sahih al-Jami’ # 7687.
4 Authentic, narrated by al-Tirmidhi from ‘Ubadah ibn Samit, as is mentioned in Sahih al-Jami’ # 5637.
5 Fath al-Bari, 11/95.
6 Al-Jawab al-Kafi, Ibn aI-Qayyim, p. 13.
7 Reported by al-Tirmidhi (# 464), al-Nasa’i (# 1725) and others, with an authentic chain.


Sallallahu Wa Salam ` Alal-Mustafa Wa ` Ala Aalihi Wa Ashabihi Wa Sallim

Sarah – Part 1

Sarah – Part 1

Sarah’s heart was throbbing; it was kind of a relief to know that exams were over. No more schooling, no more term exams, no more competition to weigh her down. But deep down she felt the pain, she knew she had tried hard, but everything was of no avail. The last few months had spelled nothing less than disaster, agony and grief. She had so many expectations, dreams, goals to achieve, but now she felt very empty. The feeling was awkward!

She felt as if the world was falling apart. The only relief was that exams were over “at least I haven’t got to worry about the results for 3 months or so …” Sarah thought with a deep sigh of relief. Although she feared Allah swt, Islam for her wasn’t anything more than her parent’s religion. She used to listen to short lectures during ramadhan at sahr time, she found great relief in them, but still she was far away from believing that Allah swt could change the course of her life. She was someone who believed that hard work would earn her everything she desired in life, but she was wrong; it takes something more than that she thought.

Sarah felt hopeless at times, what could I possibly do with my life? What do I possibly want to be? These questions always lingered in young Sarah’s mind. She had a great ambition, but now everything looked bleak. From her young days Sarah used to be a fighter, a hard worker. She was smart and intelligent. But what life threw at her at this stage of her life, was something she never anticipated, so she was back in block 1, pondering over what could help her regain what she had lost after all that hard work.

She enrolled for a course at a local institute; she was determined to fight back. Make something out of her life. She toiled very hard and came out with flying colours, she was overjoyed. But she knew the reality; the results of the all important exam in the country would have a great impact on her. Many people had a lot of hope in her. She knew it, this made things even harder. She wept alone for hours at times, but nothing would bring back her lost fame, it was painful, very painful.

Her dad’s book shelf had a good collection of Islamic books, although she had won a book or two as prizes in school, she never wanted to read them , unless of course at times, when she was reminded about god by her parents. Sarah’s fingers ran through some books in the shelf, she started reading them. She found great peace and solace in them. She made reading them her hobby; she used to read them whenever she was free or traveling.

Finally the results came; she never wanted to go to school to check them out. She could remember the day when her previous main board exam results were released. She got through with flying colours, it was a pain to even think that she didn’t do well, let alone the results. Her mum finally announced her results silently to her, she felt devastated. Although they were quite good, and would assure her university entrance, she still knew that it was far behind what she had actually aimed for. She wanted to forget everything, but it’s never that easy to forget the things we want to forget, they kind of linger more in our minds.

During this period of time Sarah and her mum took part in some thafseer classes held only for ladies on Saturdays. Sarah enjoyed them because deep down she felt the love for someone who deeply cared about her blooming. This someone unlike others loved her only for the good she did or tried to do, not for what she had achieved or failed to achieve in life.

A Contented Life

Let the days pass as they will
Be content with Allah’s will.
Do not regret what this day’s cast,
For this world’s pains for sure won’t last.
Be a man against fears strong,
Be kind and loyal, all life long.
If in folk’s eyes your faults abound,
And you wish that they be gowned:
Then shelter seek beneath kind acts,
For kindness well all blame retracts.
From enemies hide your weakness
For gloating foes do bring distress.
From misers never seek favor:
In fire there is no water.
Patience won’t reduce income,
Nor fretfulness increase the sum.
Neither pain nor joy shall last,
Nor poverty, nor riches vast.
But if your heart is satisfied
Then you do own the whole world wide.
A man on whom his fate alights
No depths shall save, nor any heights.
Allah’s earth is wide, but know,
That destiny makes it narrow.
Face each day on even keel.
There’s no balm from death can heal.

[Imam al-Shafi`i]